urbandev | (no subject)

(no subject)

The dead walking again as the living? I'm a bit past the point where I can appreciate this curse.

It is a blessing. Enjoy it.

[Private to Cloud]

I'm sorry for the other day. The, uhm, curse.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

She wicked grin softened a bit as she leaned into the touch, her dinner out of mind for now.

"Good."

"Food, love." He smiled, pushing back her hair. "Finish your dinner."

Snorting, she pulled his hand to her lips to mime gnawing on his fingers before she let him go to start eating again.

"Then quit distracting me."

He laughed, his chest getting tight. God, she was wonderful.

"Sorry. Sorry."

She just shook her head and finished her meal in silence. They were getting to the point where most silences were comfortable and she liked that. It was so much nicer than having to worry constantly about what the other was thinking.

He settled in to finish his own food, keeping her close enough to cuddle in her warmth.

Once he's done, she takes both plates to the kitchen and cleans them up, then goes back to curl up on the couch with him.

"..... I've been thinking."

He snuggled in with her contentedly. "About what?"

Thank God he was close. She buried her face in his neck, taking a deep breath.

".... a family."

His breath caught a little, and he pushed a hand through her hair gently.

"Yes, love?"

"Well, I'm not really sure when I'll be needing to go back and Jean Claude isn't sure either. I'm not promising anything, but... we could try."

Everything was said in a rush against his neck, as if she was nervous.

He shook his head a little, nuzzling into her hair.

"A baby would only get in your way when you go back, love. And then you and our child would be at risk. We can wait until after."

If there is an after. But even that would be better than conceiving and losing the child. He held her tighter.

"Thank you."

She felt a stab of disappointment run through her but she kept it to herself.

"... why are you thanking me?"

He ran a hand through her hair, meeting her eyes.

"Because you offered." He held her tighter, kissing her forehead.

"We'll have a family one day, Anita. I swear it to you."

Slowly, she nodded before she curled up against him again.

His fingers were gentle in her hair and he held her close.

"What were you thinking, love?"

"I've been thinking about this for a few days now."

"And you really want it?"

"Do you think I would've said something if I didn't? This is just so... weird for me. I've never wanted children before, but I've liked kids. Just... maybe not so much mine. You're the only man I've been with that I'd be able to do this with."

He tightened his arms around her, burying the next words in her hair.

"I want it, too, love."

She let her eyes drift shut as she leaned in closer.

".... so what do we do? Do we try and hope we don't have to go? Do we wait?"

"I'm afraid I'll lose both of you. That you'll go home and take our baby with you."

"... then we won't. I'll stay on the pill so there's no chance of that happening."

He was so torn. And he couldn't make this decision by himself.

"What do you want to do?"

"... I want it all, Reeve. Bad thing is that I can't have it."

(no subject)

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